Announcer:
Attention guys and gals, are you sick and tired of going out to
nightclubs and playing that hit or miss game of venereal diseases? Well then take no more
chances and come on down to "Infections." Yes "Infections," a
revolutionary new nightclub voted by Billboard magazine as the nation's number one
carrier of sexually transmitted diseases. So ladies, put your hands together 'cause on
Thursdays it's "Clap Night." Yes "Clap Night," where the first hundred
ladies through the door get a free pelvic exam. And don't think we stop the party there,
no, because on Friday's it's "Gonorrhea a Go Go." And this Saturday for an
exclusive engagement, live on the "Infections" stage it's "The Syph,"
playing their number one hit "It Really Hurts When I Urinate." Don't think we
forgot about you crazy teenagers. 'Cause Sunday is your night where we've chosen one of
the decade's fastest growing sexually transmitted diseases. A disease that some critics
have called, "The VD of the 90's." Yes, it's Chlamydia. So come on out to
"Infections," where there's always a party and never a quarantine.
© 1989, David Spark |
