Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen, Guns & Roses for Headbanger Pain Enhancer!
Singer:
(Tune: "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns & Roses)
Put my finger in a socket
Smash my head against the wall
Drink a Slurpee real fast
It does no good at all
So if I want a headache
Headbanger's way to go
Take two down with a glass of milk
And the pain is sure to grow
Painful. How come it's so painful
Nanananananananana! Aarggh! Aarggh! Aarggh!
(Other Option: Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad
Name")
Shot through the skull, and I'm in pain, baby
You gave me, a migrane.
Announcer:
Yes it's Headbanger, the only non-prescription medication that can actually intensify
the pain of all forms of head injuries.
Man:
Aaaaarrrrgggghhh! It's like being at a live heavy metal concert, but without the music!
Announcer:
Axl Rose (Jon Bon Jovi) says...
Axl Rose:
I like 'em 'cause they're chewable.
Announcer:
So if you've got a mild headache, but you want to make it feel
like a full subdural hematoma, reach for Headbanger.
© 1992, David Spark |