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Radio Comedy

Headbanger

Announcer:

Ladies and gentlemen, Guns & Roses for Headbanger Pain Enhancer!

Singer:

(Tune: "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns & Roses)

Put my finger in a socket
Smash my head against the wall
Drink a Slurpee real fast
It does no good at all
So if I want a headache
Headbanger's way to go
Take two down with a glass of milk
And the pain is sure to grow
Painful. How come it's so painful
Nanananananananana! Aarggh! Aarggh! Aarggh!

(Other Option:  Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name")

Shot through the skull, and I'm in pain, baby
You gave me, a migrane.

Announcer:

Yes it's Headbanger, the only non-prescription medication that can actually intensify the pain of all forms of head injuries.

Man:

Aaaaarrrrgggghhh! It's like being at a live heavy metal concert, but without the music!

Announcer:

Axl Rose (Jon Bon Jovi) says...

Axl Rose:

I like 'em 'cause they're chewable.

Announcer:

So if you've got a mild headache, but you want to make it feel like a full subdural hematoma, reach for Headbanger.

1992, David Spark

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Copyright 1995-2000, David Spark